Vostok Shest-Pyat
by IgnitionSkyer
Summary: The Alice Margatroid that Marisa was more than willing to level with had finally managed to re-grasp her intent from 1993
1. Chapter 1

Alice continued to peel off the skin around Marisa's eye sockets. This had to be done with extreme precision as any sudden movements could result in the entire Lego structure falling over. Nobody wanted to listen to the dim light's quiet buzzing by this point.

"Marisa? Could you please just stop living for a sec? You're making this more of a chore than it needs to be." Alice droned, bored of their debate only two minutes in.

Alice Margatroid was taking her pick of Marisa's body parts to exact justice, happily aware that that bitch Marisa would think twice before stealing her bike again.

The light was incredibly contemporary, Marisa and Alice frequently compared their choices of attire to it. They could have been mistaken for ghosts of an age lost.

The straps holding Marisa and the ominous Lego structure were seething hate and pressure, which Alice then cracked under. "I'm not working with you any more" Alice declared. As she kicked her toolbox over her instincts saw to it that she bit off as much of Marisa's facial skin as she could before she rode her office chair through the corridors to freedom.

Alice "Traffic Scourge" Margatroid enjoyed the taste of Marisa's face. It was thankfully much better than her legs. Appreciation of the sumptuous taste was significantly impeded by the knowledge that Alice still had to destroy the Wine Cellar Clan. She also had to be the scourge of the roads, especially the parts with traffic.

The office chair was missing a wheel but despite imperfect balance it held its own in the world of motor vehicles. Alice knew she could lean on the side of it with more pressure than anybody expected, with its admirable restraints holding together using only a fraction of their combined power.

Alice multitasked. She did a bitchin' chair grind over too many lamp posts and digested the left half of Marisa's mutilated face.

Because Alice was probably the coolest puppeteer she hit the brakes confidently and admired the monument comprised of dead people and agreed with herself that she should kick it over.


	2. Chapter 2

The ubiquitous reverence that nobody cared about rapidly clawed the stars from the sky and blasted them towards all of the necrophilia enthusiasts.

Alice had done this, she'd accidently appreciated Satori Komeiji too much. It was out of hand to a hilarious degree.

The mermaid was nothing but a carcass and Cannondream number two was long lost. Alice had been robbed all of the potential to garrotte.

"T'was an allusion to farcical stuff, yo." Satori muttered.

"…Cannondream the official Mermaid" Alice growled. There was only an impossible to satisfy lust for penance.

Satori began to ride up the escalator, she was about to get on the plane to KFC. "It was my magnum opus, nobody has been more scammed by me at any point in time." Satori licked her name tag's inscription until it changed, confirming Alice's suspicion.

Even though Satori was advancing toward the plane she stopped because she crashed into someone. "I'll cook all of my money. With this ketchup my stomach will be at harmony." Alice added.

Obviously, Satori had walked into Lancelot Volkov, who was by far the most Portuguese snooker player imaginable. Lancelot shot Satori a glance, but she was hideous to him, unlike his latest snooker trophy.

This was dangerous by this point, it was a crisis. Lancelot had trophies lazily stacked up all over at least two square miles of the airport. Satori couldn't see a way across or around them.

"Portugal." Satori phonated with considerable transience. Her plan did not detail the home stretch being so chaotic.

Alice was pissed the fuck off because of all that scam stuff. After cramming eight-thousand British pounds into her oven, the wait began.

Two hours passed. Nature took its course and Lancelot Volkov won three more trophies at regional snooker tournaments. The insurmountable had grown even greater.

"Portugal 2" Satori reciprocated. She was getting hungry and trophies were not food.

"Trophies are definitely not food." Lancelot agreed. "But I am above most cannibals so they will have to do."

With the least wasted time expectable of such a man, Lancelot raised his 2009 world finals trophy and began to gnaw at the base of it.

Satori gazed longingly at the phenomenon before her. It was reminiscent of her sister, who was far too German to be understood. Cute and vibrant, but German beyond belief.

On a winter evening such as this, a barbeque among the radiant snow would be more aesthetically desirable. Alice had pondered the matter but the money was already in the oven and the ketchup was depleting quickly. Alice gradually became despondent.

Another twenty-three hours passed. Lancelot had all of the trophies.

The six-foot tall Portuguese snooker player was wearing shorts and swimming goggles. His disposition became ridden with salaciousness and malicious intent. He solemnly stated "I have traded your sexual affiliation for snooker cues. You are a lesbian now."

Satori made a note.

"Now I shall proceed to demonstrate my workshop proficiency."

He had quickly expectorated those words in a whisper, before turning his attention to Satori's surname, Komeiji.

He broke it. She was Satori Komei.

"Is it so." Satori begrudgingly admitted.

Alice pulled out the money. Eight-thousand pounds of deep-fried, grilled, cookified cash. If she hadn't eaten all of the ketchup she'd have perked up emotionally by this point. She just wanted something to eat with it.

The plane to KFC exploded. There were snooker trophies in the engine that caught fire. It died with any dreams Alice had of fries and cola. Alice uprooted a public toaster from the ground and stabbed herself with it. Soon she would be in a totally nifty place.

Unfortunately the necrophilia villains would advance shortly. Alice saw a rapier. "Έξι Πέντε!" she yelled, gaining the energy to crawl through her blood to it.

Satori's new name meant it would not so obviously be incest if were to violate Koishi. Satori was trying to stay alive despite the deep lacerations on her name, she wanted to mess someone up like you ain't never seen and Koishi was on her mental chopping block.

There were no trophies for anyone. Nothing to work for. Satori almost felt she'd gone far enough but she figured out that Alice had cut her open and was rooting on around in her stomach.

"Kinda toaster'd myself back there, I need your insides." Alice murmured while stitching Satori's kidney to her own through some doomed malpractice. Alice Margatroid was not interested in her victim's well-being right now, her sole priority distracted her from the fact that Satori's blood was pouring out wildly over Lancelot's trophies while blood from Satori's name ran down Alice's face.

The blood hit a trophy labelled "World snooker tournament punch up 2004: 1st prize"

"YE DARE DEFILE THE IDYLLIC TRADITION OF THE PORTUGUESE?"

Lancelot's bloodlust filled, raspy voice was a javelin in Satori's back. She froze as terror exiled her body's capabilities.

T'was then Lancelot deployed his ultimate right hook, a snooker tournament riot winning punch. He wanted to knock Satori's teeth out but they were stuck like fuck. Yikes.

Alice also wanted Satori's teeth because they were prettier and Alice's were slightly more blood-stained.

Alice cut Satori's head off with the best horizontal rapier swipe known to most people. Satori's head was perfectly cleaved off and Alice took it as a prize. Satori had a nice face before everyone and a bunch of trophies broke it, so Alice wanted to fix it up and find a use for it.

Lancelot Volkov laughed as he kissed his "Snooker tournament time travel award 1986" for luck and returned to 1930. Modern Portugal ceased to exist that day, its ruins buried under snooker awards.

The necrophiles died with Portugal and the stars returned to their rightful spots.

"Número Dos" cackled Alice with a smirk into the pristine night above.


	3. Chapter 3

(Single stroke drum roll)

" Удар número tres адская-ворона!**-**Aaaaahhhh**-AAIIIYYEEEEAAOWWHHHH!**"

Alice Margatroid knew the scent of strawberry very well, but even this finely tuned instinct did not allow her to evade Utsuho Reiuji's attack. Alice crashed into the wall, just as the cunning hell-raven had intended.

Utsuho began to hastily and sloppily eat strawberries.

Between mouthfuls Utsuho managed to say "We've reached an impass, if I want nobody to be able to steal my lunch I will have to crush you now, yet I do not wish to as you are my favorite Touhou."

The unexpectedly fragile puppeteer was drawing her final breaths, the specific countries Utsuho had incorporated into her attack were particularly deadly in capable hands. There was no rapier to be seen.

Utsuho put her remaining lunch in her lunchbox. It was a great lunchbox. She began a slow advance toward her idol, taking pride in the prostrate agony she had caused.

"Killing you is something I'd definitely regret. There is however, no killing involved with what I have in mind. I hope you'll understand and come to love it." Utsuho said, with a small grin. The hell-raven began to slowly circle her catch, throwing indecent stares across the damsel like nets, as if physically confining her to a lewd, painful fate.

It was then Utsuho lay down next to Alice, her light smirk converting to a gaze of sincerity and said. "Y'see, I have a fuckton of paint back at my place. I'm really not a good artist at all so I'm going to drown you in it for kicks."

Before anything, Utsuho got too cocky and tried to sit. Nothing below her but the ground. "CHAAAAIIIIRRRRR!" The deceived hell-raven screamed, gravity dragging her toward the depths she belonged in.

Utsuho Reiuji had lived an interesting life. She had always tried to be a step ahead of the game, but now the lack of seating would teach her that she simply was not complying with the ways of her world. On her way to the ground she lamented Satori and wished she had been able to avenge her.

Directly below Utsuho was a snooker trophy, it wasn't sharp at all but she still got impaled by it. Alice's face contorted into that of a maniacal, silent laugh. Yellowish serpentine eyes lovingly absorbing all they could from the scene before her. Her mouth widening until it could convey the most overt, undeniable victory. "Seis Cinco." She said, unknowingly imitating a familiar rasp.

Then Alice picked up Utsuho, made a few slits across her torso and tipped most of her blood out all over herself. "I need this, I lost a whole bunch of mine just there so I'm not too picky about where it comes from."

Utsuho was in the bin then. Lunch and all.

It had been a tough lunchtime, but Alice finally decided to take her leave.

But no, it wasn't so simple.

There was ice in the way, incredible amounts of it. In fact, this HAD to be the most ice possible.

An alarming realisation struck Alice. Her gaze raced back to the snooker trophy, now almost artistically supporting an arrangement of hell-raven guts and strawberries. From there it cycled slowly back to the incredible mountain of ice, re-living the events of the day as she went. She caught up to the present.

Alice hatefully moaned. "Portugal 3."


	4. Chapter 4

11PM

Five miles away from the site of her atrocities, Alice Margatroid rode the desolate, sandy highway with a pained conscience. She, with nothing but an office chair had to evade her haunting past, specifically the previous day.

Alice stopped to spit on a Portuguese looking statue. Alice was not fond of that country at all.

The statue was not actually a statue.

"What charm have you cast upon me, precocious wench?" Asked Sven.

Alice knew little about DOTA 2 so she took a cautious stance.

"Have you sought rogue knight himself to prove your worth?" Sven inquired.

Scanning the area, Sven noticed the office chair. Combined with the sense of stress Alice was emanating, he reached a conclusion. "I see, you have come to seek my help. I congratulate you on making the trip with such an unorthodox steed, now I shall pay respects to your efforts."

At his own leisure, Sven kicked a nearby but uninsured garage, it fell to pieces around its contents. Sven turned to Alice for her reaction. In the centre of the razed site lay a pretty average looking moped with a baseball bat and a handgun taped to the handlebars.

"It is a vehicle for the ages." Alice complimented. "I need to get really really freaking far away from anything related to Portugal or snooker."

Sven took it as an honour to engage in such a chivalrous mission, and set off on to the night highway with not only his escortee, but an inferno of knightly pride ready to engulf his common sense. The air smelled of charred remains, strawberry and fuel. Alice couldn't wait to find out Sven's nationality and judge him harshly as such.

Forty minutes of driving passed calmly, midnight.

Sven gasped, suddenly ridden with uncertainty. He had forgotten all about that specific highway's most infamous legend until that moment. Varying legends had detailed it differently but all warned of depraved vampires murdering anybody and everybody they could get their hands on, choosing to hang their corpses out like scarecrows simply to agitate anybody foolish enough to try and avenge their victims.

Sven concealed his worry well, yet Alice still caught his uncertain vibe.

"Rogue knight, sir? What's that noise?" Asked Alice.

Startled, Sven realised that there was indeed something emitting sound behind them. He tried to slowly raise the vehicle's speed as a sudden burst of acceleration would display his fear for both Alice and whatever was coming up behind them. A set of searing lights began to slowly come into view behind them, accompanying both the faint roar they heard and a new sound, a series of seemingly rhythmic crashes. Amongst the lights, a figure could be seen. This was some sort of vehicle.

Sven let out a sigh of relief. "I apologise madam, I do not know what that is but it shan't obstruct our path." Sven thought again, what if vampires had vehicles now? That'd be a kick in the face to all those old legends but definitely something to worry about. Sven loosened the tape that fastened the gun to the handlebars for his mental security.

The sound grew louder, as it drew closer it seemed it was changing. The dull roar, now identifiable as an engine grew louder. Alongside the series of crashes was another engine like sound, much louder. The driver following was unarguably capable of catching up to them, but instead chose to close the distance to four metres between the two of them and then to simply lay their elbows on the handlebars, rest their head in their hands and watch them. Alice's and Sven's attentions were torn between the road and the figure. It had begun to follow them so there was no doubt it was interested in them.

Sven chose to ignore it and turn back to the road. Alice would have done the same, had the wild series of sounds running alongside their stalker's engine not manifested itself in an appeal to Alice's fears. This was not just excess noise coming from a vehicle. This was Painkiller by Judas Priest.

The positions shifted. Sven had fully regained his composure whilst Alice was sent into a raving panic. The prideful knight tried to project his own mindset onto her by casually telling her it was just a crazy person. Alice did not argue, she knew who and what this was.

Gensokyo had many wild rumours, with almost each and every one of its denizens pinpointed as an insane murderer by someone. Seemingly the most powerful and merciless being living there, Reimu Hakurei was no exception. While Reimu was normally viewed as a devoted yet snide workshop assistant who rarely had time for anyone, she disappeared without a trace nearly every night. As her job was to exterminate youkai, she was never on good terms with them. Something that was occasionally said that most people thought to be a joke was that Reimu was actually a bloodthirsty quad-bike thief, Alice had heard of this when Marisa claimed to be competing with Reimu in stealing her bike and never meaning any actual harm. Marisa was a defiled wreck without a face now. Nobody knew much about Reimu because with her proven youkai extermination capabilities and this rumour, youkai went out of their ways to avoid her entirely. The full rumour was that Reimu each night, would jump onto her quad-bike and ride aimlessly, killing indiscriminately to Judas Priest's Painkiller. People would claim to find seemingly unending trails of dried blood and broken bones, supporting the rumour, but this was something most people had weren't too surprised about in a land of vicious youkai.

Sven didn't even know what to say by that point, he was certain Reimu's profession was shrine maiden.

Alice turned backwards to the figure and squinted, it reciprocated for her and closed the space another two metres. Alice could just about see now, riding a ruby coloured quad-bike, glistening in its own shower of strangely placed lights was Reimu Hakurei. Reimu was wearing black jeans, a pair of black woolly gloves, a lazy bra substitute from what looked like the material from Yukari's umbrella and on her head she was wearing her usual ribbon. Across her bra the word "Хладнокровие" was untidily scrawled. The puppeteer was shocked, she watched Reimu's unusually exposed body rhythmically adjust its position on the quad-bike to the sound of Judas Priest's glorious creation. Alice attempted speech. "R-Reimu, I..."

Reimu quickly turned her song down for an instant. She interrupted with a monotone "Hi, Margatroid."

Reimu was smiling, she knew there couldn't be much communication to this situation so she got right to work. Before anything she decided to play with her victim. "Hey guess what." She jeered.

Alice tried to ignore her, she turned to Sven and stated that if they stopped and fought, she'd win. They needed to escape her. Upon hearing this, Reimu was slightly disheartened. She had wanted Alice to think she could stand to put up a fight, though for the sake of a reaction Reimu decided to raise the upper half of a human head and assume a throwing position. The human head had some of its skull exposed, some dried blood attached where attempts to wipe it completely clean had failed and a distinct set of colourful gems both penetrating and protruding from some of the weaker areas. Reimu threw it toward Alice. Alice caught it and examined it for a few seconds, while she wanted to commend the job done, she understood the real message. If this used to be Flandre Scarlet, what was Reimu going to do to her?

Reimu waited for Alice's eyes to move back and lock up with her own. When it happened she had a tough choice to make, enjoy the abject helplessness or say something.

Alice just accepted her fate. Reimu was no public toaster, there would be little recovering from this.

Sven turned around and said "Hear me engine-harlot! We have heard your mighty boast and accept your challenge!" He hit the brakes as hard as he could. The moped forced itself to a halt, leading Reimu's vehicle to crash into it. Though Sven's moped was much smaller, it did enough to damage Reimu mentally. Her CD player was no more. Painkiller stopped. With it, Reimu's intimidating aura was dispelled.

"You bastard! Do you know how much money I had to rob from the cash register to install that!?" She screeched. "Too much!"

Sven tore the handgun from his handlebars and passed it to Alice, following that he ripped the more securely taped baseball bat off of the vehicle and placed it in his empty sword sheath. Sven approached Reimu and immediately unsheathed it. "To Neptune!" he yelled as he blasted forward from his position, intent on batting Reimu into the deep cosmos.

Reimu rashly drew three spell cards and prepared to unload all she had on the single knight before her. "Guess I could sell your carcasses on the black market to cover repairs... If there's anything left."

Sven was very slow, after his initial battle cry he began making car noises while Reimu was given more than enough time to prepare her onslaught.

Alice was once again, bored of the strange people surrounding her. She raised the gun and shot Sven in the back. Reimu lost concentration out of shock and froze to watch what happened next. Unfortunately for Reimu, Sven in his final moments of life managed to abortion-smack Reimu in the stomach with the strength of twelve-hundred-thousand and fifty-one home-runs.

Reimu and Sven collapsed to the floor within seconds of each other. They were both at death's door. Alice would have opened it and kicked them through were it not just an expression.

Sven thought about the fact that he had just killed Gensokyo's most efficient youkai exterminator, endangering their world to a degree. He chuckled and said "That'll teach you to fuck with rogue knight you dumb punk-ass cosine loser"

Reimu just gazed at Sven. She'd been killed by this idiot. Fate was interesting. She wanted to end with a poetic riposte, but she was startled by Alice lying between them, laughing and thrashing around in a pool comprised of Sven and Reimu's blood. If it worked in the snow, Alice didn't see why she couldn't make a blood angel.

That was the end of the rogue knight and the workshop assistant. As expected, Travis Touchdown rode by on his motorbike and threw a brick at Alice.

"Ouch." Alice said quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

Desert highways in fiction usually make for long, quiet journeys during the night. This road did not. Alice Margatroid had attempted to gather her thoughts but she had been quickly interrupted when she realised the road just sorta connected to a nearby beach and hit a dead end.

"I am at the god damn fuck-truckin' beach." Alice yelled to the vast, empty sand hell that awaited her presence.

A voice responded "You're wrong, this is where your sins catch up to you."

Alice just started walking out onto the sand. Why not just see who she had to pseudo-molest to death next rather than waste time.

The voice soon revealed itself to be Rin "Orin" Kaenbyou. Something was a bit strange but it quickly became apparent that she had acquired a Greek accent. Orin drew a sheet of paper from her back pocket and unsteadily recited. "You have gone far enough evil-doer. I care not should you intend to or actually murder my friend, but you have defiled miss Satori. For violating my beloved I have arranged a poetic conclusion to your wretched life."

"Bestiality." Alice stated. She knew the score.

As Orin finished her sentence, from a previously unnoticed sandy tomb rose some sort of mechanical deflowering of humanity. The humanoid abomination was wearing silver stylised body armour and yet despite its futuristic appearance it was wielding only a two handed sword. The figure had an aesthetically superfluous cat tail - most likely Orin's depravity at work - and an unworn headband with cat ears on it. That was the most noticeable point. The headband was fastened in the correct place but was not being worn. The humanoid robot had no head.

"That's totally Satori isn't it." Alice amusedly asserted. She'd had Satori's desecrated head in her bag the whole time.

"Now go! Go and become complete again!" Orin instructed while strangling herself with a vacuum cleaner because hey why not right?

Alice looked at Satori, who did nothing. If she didn't have a head could she still communicate? Alice so desperately wanted to see her try to speak through semaphore.

Orin was confused and nervous "It's not doing the thing..."

"Go home or I'll stuff you into that bin right there, okay?" Alice instructed, there was no losing this one to her. But in actuality...

Orin suddenly sprang to life emotionally, "Alright! Plan Número Dos!" she hollered with excitement unfathomably different to her previous disposition.

The hell-cat reached behind her back anxiously, and pulled forth her ultimate weapon. Orin had drawn a balalaika. With anarchistic haste she raised it toward the empyrean and let forth the most harmonious audio reprieve of fate.

Alice did not understand, there was no wrath. There was only the greatest rendition of Highway Star. "Ye be of an otherworldly gift." She complimented, as the unnatural beauty caressing her being beckoned forth more praise.

The sound waves however, caused Satori's mechanical enhancements to just outright explode all over the shop. A shoulder blade hit Alice square in the face. It kinda hurt.

Alice stared at the ruined, headless body that was once again the being that used to be Satori. "Hey, can I have that?" Alice inquired with a sense of misconduct gripping her intonation.

Orin was still playing Highway Star.

On the bright side she didn't say no. Alice dragged the corpse away from the highly talented Dave Mustaine wannabe and into a nearby cavern. The cavern's luminous white rocks, complete with unnatural looking flowers managing to grow through the cracks between provided a mystic atmosphere for the puppeteer's intent.

Reaching into her bag, Alice pulled out the head of Satori Komei - whose name had not been restored - and hastily stitched it back on. The pathetic attempt to secure the biological structure with a single chain stitch was laughable, a single punch could be a decapitation. Now to test that one thing. Gouging Satori's eyes out wasn't a particularly fun job but at least it was clean. Satori's eyes were torn out in a flash. Alice took a deep breath and drank half a litre of Dr. Pepper to prepare. She wasn't going to attempt this without magic so thanks to that this would be the only hard part.

Going in guns blazing, Alice forced her fingers into both of her own eyes simultaneously, initially pushing the eyeballs back as the socket would not provide space for her to get a good grasp. Alice could hear the delicate insides of her face producing unsettling, moist sounds in response to her hand's manipulation. Alice's right eye proved to be simple, she pushed it back until she could slip her index finger above it, force it into a flatter shape and scoop it out through the front, before severing it from her body she wanted to pull the other one out. The left eye was far more stubborn, the other had been simple because she was more efficient with her right hand. Apropos of that she pulled her left hand from her eye socket and repeated the process with her right. Alice didn't have any tools so she had to manually rip here eyes from the cords retraining them to their sockets. Alice raised Satori's severed eyes to her own sockets and through an amateur healing spell she knew, manage to affix them. Finally, Alice crammed her new stolen eyes into her eye sockets. Success. That lesbian bitch cat thing Orin was gonna freak out and it would be great.

Alice went back outside and approached Orin, who was just playing the last few notes. "Hi Orin" she said with a stare more vocal than any introduction. Orin appeared enamoured. Weird. "Oh hi miss Satori, I see you got her! You're looking much better already."

This was an interesting situation, was Orin only focusing on her eyes or was she ridiculously stupid? Alice thought about the series of events that had just taken place and settled for stupid as an answer.

"Yep, I took care of that loser. Totally messed up her. What were we going to do now again?"

"Don't you remember? We were going to sign up at the boxing tournament! You said you'd cheer me on. Those car noises you taught me to make before you got your head ripped off should help me win."

Orin put on her boxing gloves and proceeding to practice punching Alice. Alice didn't know what was happening so she just let herself get hit. Orin had an okay right hook but her jabs really needed some work. Alice's role as a punching bag continued as they walked away from the beach, down the highway to the boxing tournament. Hopefully. Alice just assumed Orin knew where she was going.

It stopped mattering shortly because an immense beast of a vehicle quickly caught up and pulled up alongside them. Alice and Orin stopped. The door of the vehicle opened, giving way to Sanae Kochiya's corpse which had been leaning against it.

"Is anyone around here even trying to stay alive in the slightest?" Alice's inner monologue began. "Because that was probably the last place I expected her to end up dead. No question as to who did it though."

Orin ran toward the dead body and began to punch it. She believed if she took advantage of this it would be a kill she could credit to herself. Unfortunately her wild punching lead her to hit the vehicle's actual driver as they climbed out.

As anybody would expect Lancelot Volkov, still a man of unbridled Portugueseness had been driving the vehicle around. His Portugueseness was made unarguable by the fact he only chose to wear a pair of navy shorts and black swimming goggles and also by the fact he won way too many things. He did not have his snooker cue so everybody felt at ease. This was a false sense of security as he noticed Orin's boxing gloves.

"I challenge you to a boxing match to determine the new kaiser of this highway." Lancelot stated, his difficult to construe semblance not budging at all.

Orin was confident in her boxing skills. She raised her fists and prepared to spar. To her horror he assumed the correct boxing stance, placing his front foot's heel horizontally adjacent to his back foot's toes. He lowered his chin and slightly tilted his torso to a side. Lancelot's footwork was already impressive and he was just jogging on the spot.

"So, you know a bit about this game do ya punk? Prepare to face my ultimate assault, known only as corpse-tent rape." Orin said, trying to mouth off even though she didn't know the most basic stance.

"I win in the name of Portugal" Lancelot responded as he dropped the stance, grabbed Orin by one of her cat ears and threw her toward the vehicle.

It was an INDUSTRIAL SIZED FUCKCHIPPER.

Orin tried to scream as she was minced by the mechanical nightmare's fangs, but all she could manage were choked gasps of despair.

Lancelot turned to Alice and proudly said "That might have been a furry you're safe now." Following that he threw Sanae in with Orin, but not before setting her on fire.

Alice Margatroid gained a degree of respect for Portugal that day. Even though the country dominated skill competitions unlike the world had ever seen and she'd actually quite liked Sanae, and this guy had taken away the moment of sadistic joy when Alice revealed she was not Satori forever, she saw some coolness to it.

Travis Touchdown threw another brick at her though.


	6. Chapter 6

The desert and not been kind to one Alice Margatroid. She stood, actually pretty irked that a non-sentient area of land seemed to be making such an effort to kill her. She had gained a new sidekick in the form of Sakuya Izayoi, whom she hoped would at least attempt to not die. Sakuya had been following her around doing science.

"So, you stole Satori Komei-'s eyes?" Sakuya inquired. "And an ostentatious Portuguese dude traded her sexual affiliation for snooker cues prior to that?"

"Yeah." Alice responded.

"Then you have gained LESBIAN VISION!" Sakuya yelled. "It is a clandestine power allowing you to identify other people of said sexual preference and destroy them where they stand by staring at them hard enough! Be warned as they hold the same power over you! Well, your eyes. While you can simply stare at them they must hold eye contact with you to kill you. You have unexpectedly become a racist death machine"

"Cool." Alice muttered, she didn't care as she was sure she had a mission. That or someone would show up. She couldn't shut Sakuya up by death-staring her because it worked on homosexuals, not symphorophiliacs.

Alice suddenly switched her mood to an overjoyed one. She had reached the continent that a whole bunch of people usually sought, America. Alice turned to Sakuya, who had noticed the same thing and proclaimed.

"Should we want to break into this fortified land we shall need shady get-ups."

"I'mma confirm that, aight?" Sakuya replied.

And so, the murderer and her temporary accomplice donned the outfits of shady types. Alice was a kung fu stereotype and Sakuya wore a suit complete with submachine gun. With preparations slain they approached America's official guard, Han Solo.

Han Solo immediately raised his futuristic handgun to face Sakuya. "What business have you in my country, nerd?"

Sakuya holstered her submachine gun and began to improvise. "We have come many miles with intent to benefit America."

The experienced driver stared at Sakuya and thought. He had seen many things in his life, from kidnappings to deaths to whatever one sees when frozen as a statue. Han Solo knew he could not trust simply anyone, and so he channelled the power of one thousand Emily Brontes and told her to fuck off.

Sakuya and Alice identified the obstacle in their operation. They attempted to argue but he obstructed them. Whilst Alice felt everything would sort itself out, Sakuya removed her disguise, reverting to the maid outfit and prepared for a fight.

"Throughout my many years as a pilot I have found there is only one creed that will bring about true salvation. It is..."

Han Solo took a calm breath and proceeded.

"Gotta stop the cart."

Han Solo immediately sprang into action, ripping his gun from its holster and taking a shot at Sakuya. The mentally tuned servant reached for a knife and with a few lightning-quick slices, caused the shot to dissipate. Han Solo performed a twelve-foot leap into the air and landed behind Sakuya, waiting to meet her natural rotation to face him with a pistol whip to the collarbone. Sakuya did not turn around, instead she crouched to one knee and backed her elbow into the groin of Han Solo. The now infertile pilot held his screams like a true champion and after widening the distance between the two of them, began to speak.

"Now you will feel my secret ultimate technique." And upon those words, Sakuya began to feel strange.

Han Solo had begun using the force. "You will feel the true power of my people, vile harpy."

The necromancer of the cosmos easily levitated Sakuya and began mercilessly hurling her across the nearby ground like a play thing. Sakuya was knocked and scraped across the floor, quickly feeling the life seething out from her being.

Alice stood unimpressed and unsurprised. Merely a repeat of previous events. She wondered who would die first and who would die shortly after.

Sakuya reached for anything she could. Her knives nor pocket watch found their way to her hand. This was likely the end. The broken damsel was being tauntingly raised into the air, being prepared for the final annihilation.

It looked like the end and stuff, that was before Han Solo totally got machete'd through the chest. He wasn't really cool with that. His grip on Sakuya was dispelled and she dropped to the ground. Both combatants were struggling to stay alive for different reasons, the fight had gone from direct combat to a war of desire to survive. Sakuya looked upward slowly to see her saviour. There, hoisting their machete back out through the crumpled pilot's wound stood a soldier of the divine, wielding not only a machete but Reimu Hakurei's torso as a shield. The hero of the hour was Remilia Scarlet.

"Lady Remilia!" Sakuya passionately voiced. She had never expected Remilia to care enough that she would travel out to rescue her. She had lived her life in service of her and never looked beyond her role as a maid. Sakuya had always taken immense pride in the slightest compliment from her master, the desire to please her was her an insatiable thirst that she would roam the most unforgiving deserts to satisfy. Remilia's most recent display however, steered Sakuya's respect from the a moral path into one of lust. She had seen a trail leading to a previously unfathomable romance.

Unfortunately the partner Sakuya had joined forces with, Alice Margatroid was present for the duration of her developments. Alice was fixated on Sakuya's left arm. It had been violently mangled during her fight. As a visually enticing eyesore, Alice stood focused on the admirable aftermath of Han Solo's assault. Alice had not paid much attention to anything Sakuya had said since meeting her. As Alice's luminous pink lesbian eyes locked on to Sakuya's arm, Sakuya's feelings for Remilia were being sent into overdrive. Unbridled lesbianism restrained Sakuya's body and mind.

As Alice struggled to maintain a focus on the distorted arm she realised why it had held her attention after the initial glance. Despite being a crushed limb on the body of a broken human, it was moving. It moved with uncertain jolts of life, but not in a human way, with no regard for the rotational limits placed on the limb by the elbow, it was attempting to rebelliously shatter defy its elbow joint. As Alice stared at it, the power applied gradually increased until Sakuya began to feel it overcoming the blessing of numbness Han Solo had granted her. Sakuya spiked up from her resting position with a surprised cry, gritting her teeth to sustain it she swiftly surveyed her arm to identify an immediately solution. This was rendered farcical by an influx of disquieting creaking noises that sounded from within it, they signified the point Sakuya was overpowered. The helpless maid's lifeless arm easily crushed its own elbow joint with a mockingly slow, grinding crunch, forcing her into physical submission. As her inability to resist was plunged to a new low, her elbow's fate began again at her fingers whilst her forearm started to swell up and turn an alarming shade of red. Sakuya's arm continued to playfully deform itself unabated, the swelling continuing as a mysterious new substance silently emerged, seeping through the surface of her skin. The internal substance, a translucent blue liquid had dissolved the skin until it was permeable for itself and as it savagely engulfed the outer surface of her arm it began to demonstrate its caustic properties. Sakuya, now a tearful martyr for Alice's fascination was overcome by the hideous discomfort her arm had granted itself. Her arm made no attempt to thrash around in its own volatility as if it wanted her to assume a role, damning herself in the process. She unwillingly raised her other arm, desperate to at least comfort the biological mockery of herself. For two full minutes Sakuya attempted to mentally combat the feel of her delicate sore being burned by its own secretions, whilst the abomination continued to augment itself. It was at this time her mind gave into the closest thing to a solution, the degraded maid thrust her right arm onto her left an clawed through the clear liquid at the surface, as the torrent of harmful liquid did not cease, Sakuya only further agitated the wreck by creating an opening for own blood to pour out into the mix as well as submerging her remaining hand in the irritant.

Having no knowledge of prior events, Remilia stood in a frenzied panic, powerless to help. Alice stood disturbed and excited. She placed her foot on the unconscious Han Solo and with a kick urged him to watch. Turning her attention to the grotesquely inflated forearm, she allowed her idle gaze to accelerate the rate it mutated. Sakuya's arm was now an unwelcoming tinge of crimson, with her blood streaming down the sides from the self-fashioned crater of defiled flesh like a volcano. The filthy, bloodstained shirt she wore began to tear as the sleeve failed to contain the rogue surgery her body tortured itself with. A violent raking of agony lashed Sakuya across the ribs, the left side of her torso had become infected. She felt an excruciating pain as her insides began to intensely compress against the inner surface of her skin, screaming for sanctuary away from the doomed body. The centre of Sakuya's arm had become very tender. As she was still conscious, Sakuya lay uncontrollably squirming in a shaded puddle of acidic liquid and blood, every submerged inch of her body prying at her will. The liquid pouring from her arm had become more potent, it was now starting to pick away at her body, indiscriminately pioneering vivisections wherever it pleased. It was not until Sakuya slowly began to feel she was truly doomed that the next step of the chaos erupted. The tenderness she had felt had been the two broken fragments of the bone in her arm, through chemical reactions caused by the caustic liquid they had integrated the foreign cells allowing her arm to swell so unnaturally, they were now able to rapidly grow to repair the body where needed; a healing factor. Sakuya's forearm bone quickly extended out the back of where her elbow used to reside and into her stomach, it had grown at inhuman speeds and was not finely tuned in that branching off of it were smaller aimlessly grown mini-appendages, resembling an unkempt rose bush. Sakuya's new growth seeded itself in her stomach carelessly and began to entangle the organs pressed against the side of her torso, while it relieved the pain there it had locked them into non-functional positions as well as the root from her elbow having stitched her arm to her stomach. The puncture the initial burst of growth made was so great it tore away at the tender, ruined flesh of the arm. From inside, constantly enlarging unrestrained mounds of skinless flesh began to take form as they poured out. As the hideous bloated lumps of brawn multiplied off of each other, they weighed Sakuya down where she stood. Each of these flesh mounds spewing the harmful substance all over itself. It was initially present to agitate the host into helping the infection, but now it simply existed to render comfort eternally unfathomable. As the tender, skinless wreck emerging from the upper left of Sakuya's torso rubbed across the ground, precision stings being fired at her with each slight, she erupted into a childlike combination of broken wailing and tears. Awesome. The constant unfamiliar pains in conjunction with the crushing pain lead Sakuya's bodily receptors to initialize her new healing factor. Careless bursts of skeleton growth surged frantically through the mounds of uncontrolled mass expansion in series, puncturing each one in an attempt to apply control to the mass through insertion of a functioning skeleton. The nightmarish operation Sakuya's torso performed on itself consisted of simply growing multiple vines of bone through her masses of useless yet living flesh without joints, further locking her into the position she stood with the abomination. The rapidly growing labyrinth of bone did not fail to simultaneously grow away from its destination, with countless unintended protrusions growing outward, only serving to make the process appear more painful.

Alice grinned. She decided to rapidly switch back and forth between staring at Sakuya's upper arm and lower torso. The body parts reciprocated as such. Sakuya's upper arm was a myriad of open wounds and blood, but when it began to noisily froth the visually repugnant maid's cries exploded into ones of terror. The frothing was something new occurring closer to herself rather than joining the perpetual race between her expanding flesh and bone. The terrified maid tilted her head as far away from the brewing degeneration she housed, yet could not stop watching it in anticipation through tear-flooded eyes. In almost no time at all, a large serpent shaped appendage burst from the front of her shoulder, lightly splashing her face in acid and blood. The appendage appeared like a tentacle, except that it was a chimerical composition of flesh, bone tissue and enamel. Almost instantly after, a wave of punishment traversed the space between Sakuya's shoulder and back, as the upper left of her back annihilated protective layers on the way to the surface as a second flesh tentacle, a shorter one protruded and relaxed itself into a watchful stance above her shoulder, like a scorpion's tail ready to kill. The first flesh tentacle, much longer was tipped with an almost razor sharp point, it moved with its own sentience frantically. As if Sakuya was playing host to a masochistic demon, the tentacle plunged itself through her waist and surmounted her back to reside next to the second tentacle. Sakuya had become a lopsided toy of chaos, the left side of her once delicate body now a profaned incarnation of havoc, her right side left untouched, a memoir of what once was. Her being was all strings and the puppeteer was tying a knot.

Han Solo recognised this situation. It reminded him of his favourite film, Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi. Surely the remaining human parts of Sakuya could be destroyed to annihilate or at least undermine the rest. He drew his trusty gun once more, despite the fact he had not landed a shot all day. With deadly precision he pointed his firearm toward the nightmare of a maiden and prepared the shot, unexpectedly going on to find himself hit by someone. It was Alice.

Alice had been enjoying every second of Sakuya's meltdown and she wanted to know what else she could do. Could the mutations grow across the entire continent? Could she grow a humanoid life form on Sakuya? Could she make Sakuya's anarchistic body deflower itself? Could she integrate machinery into it and magnify the havoc? She did not want her meat-puppet destroyed before death was the only interesting torment to bestow upon it. She was willing to fight Han Solo for those rights. Believing he had no choice but to destroy what stood before him, Han Solo drew his lightsaber and prepared to do battle. It was fortunate for Alice that Remilia did not know Alice had instigated most of the previous events, as she would have to face the two of them. The almighty goddess among mortals Alice Margatroid however, had become power hungry. Having conveniently gained incredible power, she wanted to use it in her quest to destroy her fellow Touhous. Gazing upon Han Solo like an obstacle before a dream realised she charged at him, drawing that one rapier from hammerspace itself. As the two combatants duelled, Sakuya who had been left unattended continued to mutate. Her body tried to adjust to its abhorrent shape by attempting to detail the trail of soaked excess flesh that used to be her arm, while her remains sought to attain a more natural shape, the chemicals inside her overpowered her efforts. Sakuya's anatomic discord proceeded as openings of various sizes carved their ways into existence through the afflicted areas. Below the outer muscle Sakuya's body had been randomly forming copies of body parts in a misguided attempt to compensate for the extra mass. Some of them were developed eyes with almost reptilian eyelids, some were malformed, lacking eyelids, leaving them perpetually open to disturbance. A number of openings had been formed to aid breathing, autonomously taking air into the mutated wreckage. The rest of the openings were simply her body failing her, her corrupted being enthusiastically tearing itself apart to make way for further carnage. Eyeball fluids were added to the internal concoction as the rampage that was her skeleton's careless piercings of the newly developed retinas took place. The final, immense opening was a direct passage into the deformity itself, about a metre away from Sakuya's torso among the earliest developments the bulbous contortions had forcibly ripped open a wide horizontal gap reminiscent of a mouth. Untidily arranged inside was a poorly formed mix of bone marrow and enamel, resulting in a mouth of chipped, misaligned fangs. A third flesh tentacle, this one twin-pronged had ejected through Sakuya's upper-mid torso and penetrated the mutant heap from behind to become a pair of tongues. The two mouth tentacles flagellated anything within reach, attempting to reach further out of the mouth. As Sakuya's back was the origin point of it, she was lifted off the ground by the unending efforts by the tentacle to completely tear through the back of the mouth. She held little relevance to the growth at this point, it appeared to be becoming independent.

Remilia Scarlet stood in disbelief at her loyal servant. Intent on doing what she could to help she advanced toward the aberration, raising both her machete and torso shield. As she advanced she cautiously trod through the abrasive pool spouting from Sakuya's defilement, the vampire feared little yet the uncertainty as to what she was about to combat irked her greatly. Before risking everything Remilia decided to test its sentience and throw Reimu's torso at it. Reimu's torso flew toward the mounds of flesh and was quickly intercepted, as a lesser infected area slightly further away from Sakuya had burst open to reveal a set of hidden, more matured tentacles which impaled the dead torso and then retracted into the newly opened wound from which they had emerged, the murderous fluids streaming through her insides easily dissolving and assimilating Reimu's remains. Remilia almost cracked a smile. She could get a new maid. The humoured vampire began to walk away when she felt a piercing sting through her abdomen, as the pain was only brief to a physically superior terror of the night such as herself, she calmly looked down to see she had been impaled. Not by a razor sharp tentacle though, but by Han Solo. Alice's admirable footwork had made Remilia the victim of a misguided sword thrust. Unharmed but also rendered immobile, Remilia attempted to throw a counter machete swing in response only to feel it taken as she pulled back. Alice manually disarmed the vampire and after pulling her away from Han Solo, her impaled stomach taking his lightsaber from his weak grasp, Alice threw Remilia towards the mutating wreck. Remilia shot a glare of terrified hatred at the beaming puppeteer as she was almost painlessly impaled by the spontaneously emerging bladed appendages, despite the monstrosity having seemingly formed itself a mouth, Remilia was dragged into the same exposed cleft as Reimu's torso. She was pulled out of vision quickly by the razing acids but the effects soon became apparent. Using Remilia herself as a means of altering, Sakuya's body chaotically tried to evolve. It further befouled itself by sprouting bat wings across its surface at random and altering the colour of some of the recently created eyes. Features began to integrate from Remilia's dissolved being into the unintentionally damaged flesh openings as a means of repairing them, some restructured to gain hearing capabilities, one slowly mutated into a more human looking mouth, though oversized and rendered unable to open and close freely by skeletal branches locking it open, one of the wounds had began to develop the properties of the female genitalia, but had been impeding partway through, as Sakuya's omnicidal body sought no means of allowing anything to escape un-integrated. The most notable point though, was vampirism. Vampirism now flowed throughout Sakuya's entire being and as she was rendered unable to move this night would undeniably be her last, the sun would come up tomorrow and vanquish her.

Alice had realised whilst this Han Solo was strangling her. She decided to play things to her advantage and pretend to agree with him.

"I've changed my mind, you should destroy that hideous thing." Alice chirped with a smile, a disturbing contrast to the mountain of inhumanity behind her. Han Solo nodded solemnly, picked a bullet from his pocket and instead of slipping it into the pistol he used the force to fire it at Sakuya's neck. Sakuya's neck was pierced toward the left and she was gravely wounded, only an absolute miracle would keep her alive now.

The pilot realised he would surely be fired for allowing this to happen so close to the glorious land of America, turning to Alice he said "Do you think I can keep my job? Do you think there's a hope I can continue to live this honest lifestyle?" He awaited words of motivation but found his desires crushed when she briefly laughed with genuine amusement and muttered "Not a chance, you're done for."

The puppeteer was partially curious about his force powers though, how did he obtain them? He held no resemblance to anybody who would be even remotely willing to train themselves in an art of magic. She inquired. "That magic you keep using, it's much more powerful than mine. Don't freak out here but I'm absolutely certain someone as simple as you couldn't master that on their own, could you tell me about it?"

Han Solo nonchalantly looked around and replied "Oh yeah, I think it was called the force or something. This guy I used to hang out with was pretty good with it, then he was murdered by some bandage wearing samurai freak for being incestuous and in exchange for not trying to prosecute the guy he let me keep the poor bastard's powers." He looked over to the heap of convulsing flesh by the entrance to America, thinking about how his lightsaber was somewhere in there. "That laser sword thing I had belonged to the guy as well... Oh well, no use crying over it."

Alice was excitedly caught on the back-story. "If we were to simulate an incest scene do you think we could summon the samurai you mentioned and blackmail him to give us super powers?" She asked with devious intent. Han Solo paused for a sec and smiled "Yes. We could totally just team up right now and do that."

Alice Margatroid and Han Solo shook hands as a sign of co-operation, as they began their adventure back to the beach. "So how are we going to find the right people for this?" Han Solo curiously inquired, perplexed by Alice's enthusiasm.

She turned to him, her mind truly channelling the disturbed puppet master she was and lightly said "It's easy. Dead people can't say no."

Happily leaving Sakuya to her fate, the immoral duo hopped onto a pair of skateboards and began cruising down the moonlit highway. No Travis Touchdown nor Portugal could come between them and their goal.


	7. Chapter 7

T'was a bitchin' day that was spent going back to that loser Satori.

Okay so they were at Satori. In that nice looking cave.

Alice Margatroid and Han Solo stared at Satori's lifeless corpse. Its eye sockets were forced open and Alice's punctured eyeballs were lying nearby. Probably would've been courteous to attach them. Satori also wasn't mutating inexplicably so that most likely meant she was immune to her own stare. The two previous statements were beneficial to the two disturbed individuals, as they were now armed with an undamaged corpse; a corpse which had already proven its giving nature.

The corpse gradually began to move upward, this was because Alice was lifting it. "This corpse has a sister. I figure if we skin her, make a costume out of her remains and dress up a commissioned rapist in her remains we can catch that renegade in the act."

Han laughed "That's kinda like how I did it."

Alice began to operate on the corpse. It was that fun kind of crack surgery.

The pilot reconsidered his droll statement and ceased laughing. "I mean no fuck you do the thing faster."

"I'm working as fast as I can."

"Neat."

It was a short wait before Satori's lifeless corpse was relinquished of its skin. Against the original intent, Alice had made a hoodie out of Satori's upper half and a scarf out of her lower half. Magic was awesome for keeping dead skin from flaking away or peeling itself off, this would do the job.

"What do we do with the rest of the corpse?" Asked one of the heroic protagonists.

"I guess we should cook it up and eat it since it looks like food without its skin." Replied the other.

"Good idea."

The unloved cadaver spent its last night in recognisable shape impaled on a spear above a campfire. It maintained a pained look, as if the flesh was attempting to melt off of the bone. They ate Satori's remains and enjoyed them, Han eating a small amount and savouring the taste whilst Alice savagely devoured as much of Satori's corpse as she could. An unfamiliar presence allowed the two cannibals to become aware enough of its presence that they heard it remark "no1 wil miss her she waz a fag."

Upon attempting to sleep until morning, the duo managed to accidently miss the entire day and wake up at 10PM. That was no major obstruction though as they were under no time limit. The same monotonous hike across the highway took place, except this time it was nicely strewn with the remains of previous victims. Alice took the time to detail the deaths of Orin, Satori, Reimu, Sven, Sanae and Utsuho to Han, who would have worried about his choice of partner were he not so impossibly excited to meet the slayer of incest again. Han Solo's misguided priorities were lead further astray at the moment they saw it. There before the disturbed pair, idly lost in her own thoughts, stood Cirno.

Alice initiated "It is the Cir-"

"Perish, demon!" Interjected Han Solo acrimoniously. Firing with deadly precision, he took a shot at Cirno, successfully piercing one of the oblivious fairy's wings.

The juxtaposition of the distracted fairy and the bloodstained highway was visually a strange work of discourse. No prolix could accurately describe the scene.

The ice fairy did not fall to the ground or show any signs of agony, though the shot garnered its attention. Cirno turned to her would-be assassins and stated smugly "Have you fools come to be destroyed by my almighty power?" She crossed her arms and expected pure terror.

No reaction came.

"I guess you're so afraid you can't even reply to me." Cirno laughed. She raised her arms slowly and began to blast the two with her most powerful ice blasts.

Alice and Han stood still while ice fragments flew by and bounced off them. The occasional minor impalement occurred but body heat quickly melted the ice and rendered the attack ineffectual. Cirno slowly stopped the assault and looked on in fearful uncertainty.

The helpless attacker was brutally negotiated with. Cirno spat out a tooth, the sheer reasonableness of the negotiations had dislodged the insides of her mouth. "So all I have to do to live is dress up and hang out with someone?"

Alice sighed. "No, why do you keep trying to phrase it with dignity? You're going to wear this hoodie and scarf combo, both made out of some ugly bitch's corpse. Then we're going to take you to her house where you will try to molest her sister, then exciting uncertain circumstances will result in your death."

Cirno pondered the matter. "So I just do that and I get to live?"

"Yup."

"Deal!"

Alice knew where to find Koishi. Satori had moved out of hell and into a cosy place just a quick drive away from where they were, so it wasn't a long until they were on the doorstep.

Cirno was wearing the hoodie and scarf made out of Satori's skin, she wasn't sure how to molest people. "So wait can you tell me exactly what I have to do?"

With little interest in her worries, Han loudly kicked the front door as to hurry Koishi out. The door opened shortly after. in the doorway she stood. Alice recognised her appearance, but there was something unmistakably German about her.

Koishi said something in German.

Han paused, thought and decided to introduce himself. "Hi. We're arsonists and we're taking time out of our busy schedule because your sister wanted to come home and fuck you dead."

Alice added. "Also I actually ate her."

Koishi didn't know what they were saying but she invited them in out of kindness, the three guests entered her house. It was a surprisingly small but welcoming home. Not being a particularly gregarious individual, Alice began pulling the kitchen apart looking for anything interesting whilst captain Han Solo piloted their operation like that one spaceship thing he flew sometimes. Han dragged Koishi and Cirno over to the sofa and threw Koishi down, it was disconcerting how Koishi's response to being manhandled in her own home by foreign strangers was one of anticipation and happiness.

"Weird." Han managed to clearly say between the sounds of his distracted partner throwing drawers across the room as punishment for not containing anything interesting.

Cirno was promptly dropped on top of Koishi. Cirno looked down into the smirking face of lust below her. Did she think she was actually her sister? Cirno was about to try and communicate but Han interrupted her. "You're already wearing a corpse so you're probably pretty kinky. Here's a penknife, have a blast."

The words easily confused the dim-witted ice fairy as she caught the razor. Cirno strained to keep her eyes away from the eager jezebel she lay upon, though her avoidance was only made her realise that she had to get his done.

"Okay I'm going to stab you now I guess." Muttered Cirno, as she pressed the penknife into Koishi's forehead. Koishi started to chaotically bleed everywhere without emitting a sound, her face a cross between desire and discomfort. As the two lay fully clothed, Cirno stopped to think of things that rape could entail. Blood continued to pour down Koishi's face, with the uncovered parts visibly becoming more pale. As if nothing had happened, Koishi soon reverted to her state of silent gazing and waited for more. "I'm gonna do stuff now." Cirno slowly said, her voice wavering. Cirno pressed her tongue against Koishi's face and began to move it down her body. Soon the hideously inexperienced fairy was dragging her tongue across Koishi's clothes, it was when the tongue began to surmount the curve of Koishi's breast that it happened.

"SHUISHYO MAKOTA RISES!"

The voice immediately grabbed everyone's attention and provoked different reactions. Han felt recognition, Koishi felt fear, Cirno felt confusion and Alice remembered why she had broken into the house. Upon venturing through into the next room, she was that the stone wall had been broken down and among the rubble stood a heavily bandaged man wearing a purple robe. He carried a unique sword featuring a shark-tooth style blade.

Alice analysed and identified him. "Makoto Shishio?"

The man threw her a worn stare, one that had seen many incorrect guesses and replied "That name is no longer relevant to me. When I set out on my valiant quest to destroy as much incest as humanely possible I destroyed all ties it had to me, by swapping a few letters."

Shuishyo Makota casually stuck his sword through Cirno, pinning her to the spot he had chosen for her to die of blood loss. He had not hit Koishi, which irked him. "Now that your sister is going to die, the last thing that she sees may as well be her younger sister totally messed up by the coolest technique ever." He bragged as he raised his fist to the ceiling of the house, which despite being a solid surface did not prevent Shuishyo Makota from absorbing space power and delivering the STAR PUNCH to Koishi, blasting her mind apart on impact. Shuishyo Makota turned to Alice and Han and told them "They usually have some last words to spew out around now, I'm gonna go raid their fridge so you can hear them out if you care."

As a deranged puppeteer, the idea of being a fragile dying person's only company and having potential control over them appealed to each other. She sat down next to Cirno and waited to hear that wonderful cry of treachery that Cirno would try and condemn her with, though what she did her surprised her. Koishi, between desperate gasps for air managed to exhale the words "Sis, I know you're there." in English. Han caught this and came closer to hear what she would say. Alice was both surprised by the fact that the STAR PUNCH had apparently knocked all traces of German nationality out of her and pleased to tell her that her sister was laying next to her, impaled like an animal. The puppeteer went on "She's actually dead. You finally gain the means to communicate with her and you're just that bit late."

Koishi's bloodstained face curved into a smile at the irony. "I'm not talking about that. I don't know why it's happening only now but I'm sensing my sister's presence from within you. Her spirit is attached to you." Koishi's eyes shifted slightly to look at Alice. Alice paused. She had mutilated been present for two fatal mutilations of Satori's body, stolen her eyes, skinned her and eaten her corpse. What Koishi said was believable. Koishi, whose dying breaths were partially of satisfaction continued. "Her spirit's actually stronger than yours. Parasite isn't a very nice word, but stepping around calling her that I guess I could just say that soon she'll have your body. For your body to have been made so inhabitable for her you must have been either willing or really stupid."

Shuishyo Makota came back in to the room holding a carton of milk. "Anything good? Sometimes they give you prized family recipes and that's nice when you have food-shopping money to burn." He surveyed the scene and decided to quietly blend in. Koishi was quietly laughing at her supposed tormentor. Alice's face had indeed been one of caution while she considered the weight of Koishi's statement. The doll maker considered her profession, that surely it would aid her in overcoming this obstacle. She had regrouped mentally and attempted to prevent Koishi from dying happily. "I wasn't aware of that. Thank you." She began. "If you weren't so overconfident to the point you'd warn me, she might have been able to succeed. That's not to say she won't get my body though, she can have it. I'm just going to make a new one for myself and re-kill her while she's in mine. You've granted me a rare pleasure you stupid bitch."

Shuishyo Makota offered Han Solo the carton of milk. Shuishyo Makota was a very friendly individual who was more than willing to make small talk with Han based on a single previous encounter. Han took the milk, drank a few mouthfuls and gave it back. Shuishyo Makota was pleased with his most recent kind deed.

Koishi's face was riddled with worry. It wasn't completely clear to her observers considering her face was partially buried under her own drying blood, but her eyes said enough. Alice relished in Koishi's discontent. "I'm going to start wearing those clothes we made out of her skin. When Satori comes to, I want her to feel right at home."

Though she was about to die naturally, Shuishyo Makota pulled his sword from Cirno and cut Koishi's head off. He gleefully turned to his temporary companions. "So, did we all get what we wanted out of that? I know I did!" Han decided to finally mention their original intent. "Actually we were just wondering if since we helped you destroy incest you can give us superpowers or something."

The incest slaying badass stared at him and then at Alice, who had turned to face him in excitement. "No." He started to leave.

Han didn't understand, when he'd sold Luke out for incest he'd gotten Luke's powers as a reward. He asked. "But how come you were able to give me Luke's powers back then and nothing now?"

The response was a look of trust from Shuishyo Makota. He solemnly said, "I didn't, I just handed you his lightsaber and let you discover that you were in fact always destined to be the most powerful Jedi, capable of doing no wrong in this world and bringing peace to all."

"I cannibalised a girl last night." Han Solo countered, unconvinced. Shuishyo Makota looked at him and retracted his praise in a subtle "Oh." He then ran out of the house and away through the hole he'd created, leaving Alice and Han with the two corpses, some disappointment and the knowledge that Satori was attempting to take over Alice's body.

Alice cheerfully thought out loud. "Guess I'd better start trying to find a better body to steal before Satori comes back to be killed again." She took the skin hoodie and scarf from Cirno and put them on herself happily.

Han Solo was in consideration of his actions and destiny, he wanted to defeat Shuishyo Makota or at least someone of his level in combat. He begrudgingly set off with Alice to engage in a task he did not care for.

As the Komeiji/Komei- household was in the middle of nowhere and the duo's goal did not currently lie anywhere specific, they chose a random direction and set off.


End file.
